If you keep up with me on social media, then you’ll know our baby girl made her debut on December 14th. It’s been the most beautiful, evolving experience of our lives. Her name is Crown Sephora, and we are absolutely in love.
While Crown’s birth story started off rocky, it evolved into a very beautiful experience that I am so thankful I was able to have. On the morning of December 11th, I went to my “full term” 38 week prenatal appointment, and I found out that my amniotic fluid was low. My doctor asked me if I noticed baby not moving as much, which I did, but I assumed it was because she was running out of room. They did an ultrasound and alerted me that her fluid level was at a 5, which is just above the danger zone. My OB advised that she would like to induce me so that we didn’t lose anymore fluid, which was vital for baby girl’s health. My OB gave me the weekend to get everything together. My parents rushed in town to be with Brave, and HD and I ran off to have our new baby.
I was a nervous wreck. As if learning you’ll be induced wasn’t terrifying enough, I was still battling all of my anxieties from Brave’s birth.
If you aren’t familiar, I had a very traumatic birth with Brave. It was mentally and physically exhausting. Both of us could have had fatal outcomes and I carried the trauma with me the entire first year of Brave’s life. When I learned I was pregnant, my trauma from my first birth experience often overshadowed this joy of new life. It felt like I was holding my breath. It was so bad to where I begged my doctor for a voluntary c-section because I just couldn’t go down that road twice. But she asked me to trust her, and I did, as she was a doctor I specifically sought out for this reason. I’m glad I listened.
The morning of Crown’s birth was surprisingly calm, little did I know it would set the tone for the entire experience. I gathered my things, and had a quick moment to myself. I told myself, I wouldn’t take what happened to Brave and I during my first birthing experience into this new birth, it wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t fair to me. Crown deserved her own story, untainted with trauma that didn’t belong to her. So before I left our home, I put that moment behind me for the sake of having a new experience.
We got to the hospital (a new hospital, I chose not to deliver at the same hospital I birthed Brave), and it felt right. We were welcomed with smiles, escorted to our rooms, and greeted by the friendliest nursing staff there was. My nurse, Maggie reminded me of someone I knew from back home, and it instantly made me feel at peace.
Maggie was a trooper, though I was being induced medically, she wanted to keep the birthing process as natural as possible to keep my anxiety at bay. So after we they induced me medically, Maggie made me work through labor just as if I would have done if I naturally went in labor. We breathed, we switched positions, we moved, we allowed gravity to do it’s job. And in 18 hours, my body came to be ready. I’m thankful that they didn’t pressure me, or rush my process. That alone made my experience far better than before. When I made it to 10 cm dilated, I still wasn’t ready. Though I was dilated, Crown was still really high so Maggie made me do the work. I had to sit up as far as possible for 1.5 hour and Crown slowly dropped into the perfect position, then it was go time. My OB, who constantly checked on me made her way back around to our labor and delivery room, and she looked me in my eyes and said “you can do this. we can do this. on your next contraction, push like you want your baby girl in your arms now.” and that’s what I did. I did one, huge push, and Crown came flying out of there. I delivered my baby girl in one push! In fact, my doctor said “you can stop pushing now, she’s in my arms!” and there she was. Beautiful as ever, in all of her glory.
Crown came out with her eyes open, with such a peaceful presence. It was like she knew that she had a mission to make this moment count, and that she did. She was born at 3:51pm, after 18 hours of calm and manageable labor, and 1 push. She’s been the calm to our storm ever since she made her way earth-side. We call her ‘zen baby’ because she’s just so at peace, everyone notices. We love her endlessly, and we cannot wait to watch her grow into a beautiful woman. Our hearts are full.