2018 has literally been a series of Lil’ Duval’s lyrics for me … “I’m living my best life! I ain’t going back and forth wit’chu ninjas!”
I was talking to my husband about my past, and some of the hard lessons I’ve learned. I shared with him one particular thing that I wish I could do over and if I had the chance I would have taken a different approach. He stopped me in my tracks and immediately told me he was proud of me for my growth and for recognizing my wrongdoings.
This really made me think, about my entire 20s and everything that took place in my life. Not sure if I shared this with you guys, but I turned 30 on August 5 and I really feel like I’ve evolved as a woman. I’m literally living my best life! It’s not because I have this lavish lifestyle and I’m slaying everyday, it’s because I’ve chosen to live my best life and these were the steps I took to get there.
I got strong. For years I felt like a pushover and a people pleaser, often putting others before myself. I stopped. I realized that I’m no good for anyone else if I don’t consider and take care of myself first. Make sure you’re good, everything else can wait.
I prioritized my relationships. This was a hard lesson to learn. I had to structure the people in my life by what was most important and valuable to me. Why? Because I was exhausted. It’s hard being there for everyone. It actually stretches you thin and sucks you dry. It’s even more a slap in the face when you’re always the friend or loved one who’s continuously supportive, but the same love isn’t reciprocated. So I made a list of who and what’s most important to me, and as long as that is always priority, my job is done.
I indulged in self-care. By now this post sounds super self-centered, and it is; but that’s because you must think of self in order to live your best life. I work really hard, and I deserve to go the extra mile for myself. Self-care doesn’t have to be a shopping spree, or anything expensive. Self-care is simply giving yourself the undivided attention you need, whether that’s running a hot bath, having dinner alone, or enjoying much needed quiet time at the start of your day.
I forgave those who wronged me. This may have been the most painful process I’ve ever been through. Lately I’ve been hurt and let down by a lot of people in my life. It was continuous, and it really stung. The ironic part is that I don’t know how to hold grudges. Even if you hurt me, or I hurt you, I’m always willing to work it out so that we can get back on track with our relationship. Even with the constant pain from people who I love. I’ve learned that everyone isn’t as forgiving as I am, and I can’t control someone’s process. So I chose to forgive them, for myself. I forgave them for my sanity and peace of mind, for my closure, and for my power because ‘he who angers you controls you’ and no one deserves that power.
I learn as much as I possibly can. Never stop learning people, as long as there’s breath in you. The minute you stop learning you have nothing to live for. Learning doesn’t have to be as traditional as going back to school, it can be through culture, travel or spiritual enlightenment. Dig to find out more so that you can discover more about yourself. I’m currently practicing meditation with HD to relieve the pressure of stress and anxiety. From this I am learning so much about my patience, mental stimulation, and my ever-so-short attention span.
I focus on LOVE. Life can be tough but I’ve learned to focus on what matters. There’s so many beautiful aspects of my life, and I am so appreciative of it all. I have a beautiful new marriage, a loving family, a promising career, my blog has amazing support, and a village that loves me and wants to see me win! I couldn’t be more happy. The fact is, I’m living my BEST life, and learning lessons along the way.