One of the hardest things for me is to let my guard down enough to just … be. I over plan, over analyze, and some times it forces things to spiral out of control. The fact is, I can’t control everything. HD constantly reminds me to “chill”, and surprisingly that’s the toughest thing for me to do.
This year I’ve been intentional with just being present. Little things like, putting my phone away, not recording the moment but instead capturing it in my mind for my own personal memories has really helped. Being present for me means more than just tapping out of social media or work … it’s also about centering myself, finding balance and suppressing my anxiety.
I worry too much, and each day I am constantly battling anxiety. Some people think that anxiety means you’re depressed or you’re sinking in your own crap. It’s not that. For me, I’m anxious … I’m constantly calculating, planning, figuring things out even when I shouldn’t be. A payment that’s not due for two or three months … I’m already panicking over. And even in those little anxious moments, I’ve learned to just clock out and be; and let God provide for me.
The craziest part is, things ALWAYS work out. So I don’t understand why I stress myself out so much behind it. I’ve learned, it’s habit because I’m the planner, coordinator, manager, and doer of my tribe, so I’ve learned to take on these stressful situations by default.
Then scripture hits me, ‘Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God’
and that’s it. that’s the answer … when adversities come, we’re simply suppose to pray and submit it to God and let him handle it. Because remember … if it’s for us, we will have it if (and only if) it’s according to his will for us.