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A 30 Year Old’s Guide To Living Your Best Life

2018 has literally been a series of Lil’ Duval’s lyrics for me … “I’m living my best life! I ain’t going back and forth wit’chu ninjas!”

I was talking to my husband about my past, and some of the hard lessons I’ve learned. I shared with him one particular thing that I wish I could do over and if I had the chance I would have taken a different approach. He stopped me in my tracks and immediately told me he was proud of me for my growth and for recognizing my wrongdoings.

This really made me think, about my entire 20s and everything that took place in my life. Not sure if I shared this with you guys, but I turned 30 on August 5 and I really feel like I’ve evolved as a woman. I’m literally living my best life! It’s not because I have this lavish lifestyle and I’m slaying everyday, it’s because I’ve chosen to live my best life and these were the steps I took to get there.

I got strong. For years I felt like a pushover and a people pleaser, often putting others before myself. I stopped. I realized that I’m no good for anyone else if I don’t consider and take care of myself first. Make sure you’re good, everything else can wait.

I prioritized my relationships. This was a hard lesson to learn. I had to structure the people in my life by what was most important and valuable to me. Why? Because I was exhausted. It’s hard being there for everyone. It actually stretches you thin and sucks you dry. It’s even more a slap in the face when you’re always the friend or loved one who’s continuously supportive, but the same love isn’t reciprocated. So I made a list of who and what’s most important to me, and as long as that is always priority, my job is done.

I indulged in self-care. By now this post sounds super self-centered, and it is; but that’s because you must think of self in order to live your best life. I work really hard, and I deserve to go the extra mile for myself. Self-care doesn’t have to be a shopping spree, or anything expensive. Self-care is simply giving yourself the undivided attention you need, whether that’s running a hot bath, having dinner alone, or enjoying much needed quiet time at the start of your day.

I forgave those who wronged me. This may have been the most painful process I’ve ever been through. Lately I’ve been hurt and let down by a lot of people in my life. It was continuous, and it really stung. The ironic part is that I don’t know how to hold grudges. Even if you hurt me, or I hurt you, I’m always willing to work it out so that we can get back on track with our relationship. Even with the constant pain from people who I love. I’ve learned that everyone isn’t as forgiving as I am, and I can’t control someone’s process. So I chose to forgive them, for myself. I forgave them for my sanity and peace of mind, for my closure, and for my power because ‘he who angers you controls you’ and no one deserves that power.

I learn as much as I possibly can. Never stop learning people, as long as there’s breath in you. The minute you stop learning you have nothing to live for. Learning doesn’t have to be as traditional as going back to school, it can be through culture, travel or spiritual enlightenment. Dig to find out more so that you can discover more about yourself. I’m currently practicing meditation with HD to relieve the pressure of stress and anxiety. From this I am learning so much about my patience, mental stimulation, and my ever-so-short attention span.

I focus on LOVE. Life can be tough but I’ve learned to focus on what matters. There’s so many beautiful aspects of my life, and I am so appreciative of it all. I have a beautiful new marriage, a loving family, a promising career, my blog has amazing support, and a village that loves me and wants to see me win! I couldn’t be more happy. The fact is, I’m living my BEST life, and learning lessons along the way.

Dress: Torrid ($20 off!) | Boots: Target

Fighting Anxiety By Being Present

One of the hardest things for me is to let my guard down enough to just … be. I over plan, over analyze, and some times it forces things to spiral out of control. The fact is, I can’t control everything. HD constantly reminds me to “chill”, and surprisingly that’s the toughest thing for me to do.

This year I’ve been intentional with just being present. Little things like, putting my phone away, not recording the moment but instead capturing it in my mind for my own personal memories has really helped. Being present for me means more than just tapping out of social media or work … it’s also about centering myself, finding balance and suppressing my anxiety.

I worry too much, and each day I am constantly battling anxiety. Some people think that anxiety means you’re depressed or you’re sinking in your own crap. It’s not that. For me, I’m anxious … I’m constantly calculating, planning, figuring things out even when I shouldn’t be. A payment that’s not due for two or three months … I’m already panicking over. And even in those little anxious moments, I’ve learned to just clock out and be; and let God provide for me.

The craziest part is, things ALWAYS work out. So I don’t understand why I stress myself out so much behind it. I’ve learned, it’s habit because I’m the planner, coordinator, manager, and doer of my tribe, so I’ve learned to take on these stressful situations by default.

 

Then scripture hits me, ‘Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God’

and that’s it. that’s the answer … when adversities come, we’re simply suppose to pray and submit it to God and let him handle it. Because remember … if it’s for us, we will have it if (and only if) it’s according to his will for us.

Xx,

Triena

My 3rd Day Curly Hair Routine With The Doux

Hey guys! So guess what, I’ve found a hair care system that works perfectly with my fine loose curls! The Doux is a hair care system for curly and straight hair. What I love about the product is how fun and full-of-life the system is. From it’s 90s inspired hip hop theme to it’s vibrant scents that leaves your hair feeling and smelling great. Check out this awesome review I did on the products and let be sure to share your thoughts with me.

Although all of their products are phenomenal, my absolutely faves were the Sucka Free Shampoo, the Fresh Rinse Moisturizing Conditioner, and best of all, the Mousse Def Texturizing Foam.

By the way, The Doux can be found at your local Target. If you’re unsure of which target near you carries it, click the link HERE to find out.

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Floral Skirt, A Must!

While I know that I am a true lover of floral, I find it weird that I’ve never owned a floral skirt! The minute I noticed, I had to make a quick change to my closet.

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Head Held High, Standards Even Higher


I’ve learned so many valuable lessons this year, one of which is simply having high standards. After moving to Atlanta, I found myself picking up any random collaboration opportunities with hopes of “keeping the bills paid.” In all of my effort, and the never-ending grind of being an entrepreneur, I learned that, even if it’s a paid opportunity, that doesn’t mean you have to accept it.

It’s hard to resist a quick come up, or an easy dollar but remember … nothing good and long-lasting comes easy. Last week I sat back and reflected on the direction of my brand, Circa88; and as proud as I am of it I’m still not completely satisfied. Toward the end of 2016 and into early 2017 I found myself accepting mediocre collaborations with hopes of finding exponential growth and income for my brand. In the long-run I shorted myself because it produced lackluster content that I don’t want to live on my blog. Never again will I do that. Instead, I’m keeping my standards high. If a company doesn’t want to invest in premiere collaborations, their loss. I have a standard to uphold … and whoever is reading this, you should practice this too in your everyday life….

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